Honesty and Limiting Beliefs

The Gift of Honesty and Limiting Beliefs

BOOM!  I felt myself pushed back against the wall by an invisible force to the chest.  As I slowly slid my way down towards the floor, I looked around the room in a daze to pin point where on earth it had come from?

Well, it clearly wasn’t in the immediate vicinity. 

I was baffled as I slowly came back to reality.  With my elbows leaning on the kitchen bench, gazing at my phone, I was certainly not lying on the floor as I had felt.  However, the strange “wrong” feeling in my chest was definitely real.

I placed my hand over the centre of my chest and wondered why I felt this physical sensation in my chest from reading a message on my phone… and then decided yes, I was ready to don my exploring gear and go on another adventure within…

Have you ever experienced something like this before, where something just feels wrong from an interaction with someone or a recent decision?

I remember being asked at a party… how on earth I could get any information from my body without actually seeing a medical professional or getting medical tests?  It appeared “inconceivable” to them, I love this word, I always think of the little guy out of the film ‘The Princess Bride’ saying this when the ‘Dread Pirate Roberts’ just keeps coming to save the princess despite the obstacles being thrown in his way.  I know it is a fictional story, however, there appears to be many unexplained things in this world that just happen out of the blue when we are being true to ourselves and remain on our own path.  The ‘pirate’s destiny was to be with the princess, and no giant, expert swordsman, poison or even death was able to distract or hinder him from his invisible guiding purpose… the force of love.  

Similarly, how can you explain the gut pulling force I felt when I appeared to randomly find Kinesiology.  I was aimlessly wondering around the mind body spirit festival the day after leaving my private sector OT job, with no idea what I was going to do next, I just knew I had to leave to look after my health.  I was waiting for my friend, pretty much staring into space, when a person caught my eye.  I truly believed I knew her, so I waited until she was free and just walked up to her.  She felt the same, and after spending some time naming all the places we may have known each other, we realised we probably did not.  She was promoting Art Therapy which I replied that “there was no way I was going to retrain yet again!”  She gave me some information to read anyway because I was still interested in the subject.

There was one particular article however, that absolutely screamed to my soul… it brought such a powerful emotional pulling response in my heart and gut.  It was an article about how Kinesiology (which I couldn’t even pronounce at the time or had any idea what it was) can help children to learn.  I just had to find out more, so the following weekend, I found myself on a one day introduction to Kinesiology, the weekend after that, a whole weekend course, ending up spending many more years of studying this art, of course I was hooked! 

I was hooked by no physical stimuli, but by following a definite real physical feeling shouting to me within my body.  I have spent many years developing my senses to be able to pay attention to what my body tells me.  I am very grateful for that ‘kick’ start! 

I can understand how it may be “inconceivable” (I had to throw that one in again) to someone who has spent years ignoring their body’s attention seeking signs, ‘fighting a war’ with their dis-ease and themselves.  I had been doing just that growing up, not knowing any different, until I was ‘thrown’ into natural health to help my own health. 

I learnt that the further we disconnect from ourselves from a holistic perspective, the more space there is for things to fester.  It can be hard to change ingrained habits, routines, values, beliefs, however it is the most rewarding journey. 

Tuning into our own body and system’s messages, signs and distress calls can prevent long term damage, and enable us to nip disturbances in the butt.  Prevention is the key, just like the kids Kinesiology article I got hooked with.  Whatever we practise a lot of, is what we get good at, yes?  So wouldn’t the best choice be to practise something we want and need, rather than continuing to practise something we do not?

Does it really matter?

Surely life is more than just physical “matter”.  There is so much research now into how our emotions affect different parts of our bodies that result in physical feelings.    

For instance; nervous or excited ‘butterflies in the tummy’; a ‘mothers intuition’ ‘feel it in my bones’ when you just “know” something is wrong with you or your family; ‘gut instinct’; feeling like being ‘punched in the guts’ by someone’s words; someone rings you out of the blue who you were just thinking about; a person being able to heal their own skin from callused to smooth (Lipton B 2020), and a child reducing a brain tumour by using their mind?  All of these responses involve no physical contact, but a very real physical response.  I have to add in a bit of Star Wars of course… “I have a bad feeling about this”!

If it is purely about a physical stimulus producing a physical response, how do we explain (on a topical matter) the following… 2 members of a family were tested positive after spending time in very close contact with elderly parents and siblings at the time, however no one else got sick or experienced any symptoms.  Also someone caring for a sick person did not get sick themselves, there must be more to life than a “Neutonian way” of viewing health (Lipton, B. 2020) when everything is explained from a physical perception. 

I always like this one… if 2 people were caught in a storm, why would only one get sick with the “flu” even though no one else was around them who were sick to “catch” it from, or both of them would stay healthy?  If there is always a straight forward physical response to a physical stimulus, then wouldn’t everyone get sick from having a bag full of contaminated tissue from a person who has a virus placed over their head (sorry for the graphic detais!)?  Apparently not according to the research cited in the book ‘The invisible rainbow’ (Firstenberg, Arthur. 2020) none of the participants in the study got even mildly sick or sneezed, amasingly!!

So… there must be other things that affect us which can result in physical discomfort? 

A possible contender enters stage left, introducing…

‘Limiting Beliefs’…

In a nut shell, they are beliefs that are formed throughout our lives by our experiences which can limit or prevent us from achieving what we wish to.  We tend to develop them in the first place to avoid feeling some kind of discomfort ourselves.  Almost as if our breaks are continually stuck on in the background for no obvious reason preventing us from reaching optimal speed, physically holding us back.

An example of this is the introductory scenario.  Firstly, by identifying the “pushed back, sinking” feeling in the chest, gives us the area that is being affected.  This feeling was then given time and permission to talk with the use of all the senses to explore everything about what was being read in a particular message.

Say it was a friend being honest to us, having identified that they did not wish for a handmade gift as a present.  Why would this be painful in the chest area?  Let’s break this down…


Why would they feel so bad in the chest area?  A stab to the heart?  Loss of love?  How would you feel right now if your gift was being declined?  Maybe something, maybe nothing… 

There are many different ways we could respond to the same thing. 

We all have a choice to how we respond.  Do we make an honest choice?  Or do we basically lie to protect others’ feelings from hearing the truth?   Who are we really protecting from hurt?  Them or ourselves?

If a friend chose to tell the truth that they didn’t wish for our gift, we get to choose… Do we honour them for their honesty and take ownership of our own discomfort to be able to do something with?  Or… do we ignore the dis-ease our body was showing us and bury it pretending it didn’t happen.  Although would this unleased baby monster bare its head during interactions with our friend over time, resulting in it growing into a fiercer monster feeling a little strained with each interaction, feeling wrong?

By making a decision to do something about it, we could either do so on our own if the discomfort is small and able to be understood.  Or if it was a more deep rooted issue that has been festering in the background for a while now, we could explore it within a Kinesiology session.  This would ensure the necessary guidance and support was received to be able to release it fully out of our whole system to have calm honest interactions once more. 

By choosing to flick the switch, to shine the light on this physical discomfort in the chest.  Gives us the ability to sink into it, while tapping into our higher self/soul/source/God/guides/angels/fairies whatever it is within ourselves that we belong to, that connects us to the greater good. 

We may find that this pattern has been happening throughout our life to varying degrees.  Initially growing up tripping over it, then tip toeing around it, pushed it down or to the side.  Sometimes we believe we have dealt with this little monster before. 
However, as “Human Beans” (love the BFG) we can have so many layers of luscious learnings to entertain us for years sometimes, the signs keep coming when they want us to grow, and enlarge to fill our screen if we ignore them, all to show us why we respond in certain ways to avoid feeling pain.  Of course, the signs usually get clearer the more we delve into understanding ourselves and our core, so we can effectively clear our path of boulders to be able to walk more easily and comfortably along it, making life so much calmer and comfortable and Honest!

So then we can find the limiting beliefs around this pattern of behaviour.

Possibly… the need to give.

Our friend was most likely declining our gift due to their own reasons, whatever they may be, as everyone has their own ‘stuff’ going on.  We can honour their honesty then deal with our ‘stuff’, and make our own choices.

We could start by asking why we were needing to give them something in the first place? 

Maybe “I need to give gifts to avoid losing my friends and feeling alone”. 
Or “I need to give gifts or people won’t like me and I will feel hurt”. 
Or “If I don’t give someone a gift to remember me by, people will forget me”. 

So all of these may be stored in our subconscious having developed them from when we were a child or even older, resulting in our behaviour today.  9 times out of 10, we are unaware of our actions until it is brought to our attention or we get the light bulb moment from a massive physical discomfort.

As with everything, it gets so much easier and quicker with practise!  So, by understanding the underlying reasons of the need to give a gift, gives us our power back.  We can then shed the NEED to give, and make a comfortable choice to either give because we wanted to with no strings attached, or not give at all in this case and be comfortable about it. 

l like the boulder on the life path analogy… when we lift up the uncomfortable boulder from our path, it reveals what vulnerable part of ourselves we have hidden away to try and protect ourselves from being hurt.  So… by trying to protect ourselves from being hurt, we cover our uncomfortable feelings with a hunk of boulder.  Unfortunately this then traps the uncomfortable feelings in for them to fester all alone in a dark place/prison, without the ability to let any light in.  So we end up hurting ourselves by forming the limiting beliefs just to try and protect ourselves from hurt in the first place!

Another example could be…

If we had been honest with our best friend at school and made them cry by telling them (after they had asked for our opinion) that we didn’t think their new hair cut suited them, then they never spoke to us again…  Possible limiting beliefs from this could have been…

“I mustn’t tell the truth because I will hurt people and no one will like me”
“My friends will leave me, so I will be alone when I tell the truth”

Therefore, we may grow up finding every way possible to avoid telling the truth and lie to others, creating us inner pain by constantly lying to ourselves, and never having true friendships.  Going through life ensuring we don’t hurt other people would be a massive strain on ourselves, creating tension, resulting in sore muscles.  We would constantly be having to think, to overuse our brains resulting in headaches.  We may get neck pain if we were holding our head to one side because of leaning away from people, etc etc.  Rather than being ok with accepting the loss of that one friend, talking about the loss feelings, feeling it, getting support to be able to acknowledge these emotions so they don’t develop into long term discomfort.  It may sound simple but having the ability and skills to help someone through these childhood challenging times is a great gift, and potential life changer.

So when you are starting to notice a discomfort… please don’t ignore it and tell yourself it’s nothing, or that I’m just being stupid, its not worth it, ill just get over it.  Be gentle and kind to yourself, and be honest with how you feel.  Get some help.  Name it.  Get to know it.  Make friends with it so it can show you what it needs to prevent it from escalating into a monster ache or pain or debilitating thought or something worse.  Stop doing what you need to stop doing, to give yourself what it needs, be honest with yourself, without needing to be a Martyr.  This way of living, enables us to really live, and get help when we really need in good time to tame the beast before it becomes a painful beast.

Limiting Beliefs are so important to find.  When we identify what is limiting us from reaching our full potential, we can start unwrapping our protective layers from pain, which are usually the actual source of our pain, shutting out the ability to receive any love or care.

Honesty can be viewed as a magnificent gift.  When we are honest with ourselves and others, they and/or ourselves may feel pain in the short run.  However, we are gifted with the ability to transform this short term dis-ease into long term comfort. 

Here’s to honouring honesty and being brave, to speak up what we feel needs to be said from a heart space for ours and others greatest good.  Allow ourselves to accept the gift of whatever short term discomfort ours and other’s choice and decisions may bring us.  It is ours and their life, ours and their body, ours and their prerogative to make true and rightful decisions for what our instincts whisper insightfully and knowingly to us.

Firstenberg, Arthur (2020). The invisible rainbow, A history of electricity and life, Chelsea Green Publishing, London
Lipton, B, H. The Biology of Belief, 10th Edition, on audible

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