Procrastination vs Permission to Pause!
How much time do I spend procrastinating?
What important task am I avoiding?
How do I procrastinate?…
Do I find myself venturing into the kitchen to either bake something or go on a hunt for something to stuff my face with?…
Do I research the Dickins out of something random, like the origins of Halloween or the meaning of life?…
Do I make up an excuse why I don’t need to do the task today, and find an exceptionally good reason to do it tomorrow?
OR…
On the flip side, which may puzzle some…
Am I procrastinating by filling my time and keeping myself busy, when what I need most is to stop and rest?!
So what exactly is procrastinating?
According to the Collins Gem Dictionary (2004), the definition is to “Put off taking action, delay”
Indeed it is. But why do we do it? I simply believe it is a way to do something that feels easier than the actual task that really needs to be done.
As a Therapist, this makes me wonder … ???
Is it easier to become immersed in fixing something, than just spend time alone relaxing?
Is it easier to watch a film or read a book and listen to someone’s else’s story, rather than live our own story?
Is it easier to help someone else, than spend time with ourselves and notice our own needs?
Is it easier to do things for ourselves rather that something that may be judged harshly by others?
Interesting?… Maybe the “present”, of procrastination, gifts us the knowing that something is out of balance, it’s an indication when we chose to see it, of how we can help ourselves.
Enter stage front… “Permission to Pause”
Will pausing for a moment or two give us the opportunity to figure out what is being avoiding? What really needs to be done?
How something can be done?
What is needed for us to fully embrace the task easily and more effortlessly?
OK… So… How on earth is this PAUSE to be done?
Shall we consider this for a moment?…
What do we give ourselves when we take a pause?
A moment to breathe and expand our space?
The ability to notice any tension and replace it with relaxation and regain flow?
May be time to evaluate what emotion or situation we are avoiding?
Then… does it give us Permission to Perceive in the Present and learn from the Past?
Or… Permission to Play?
Perhaps… Permission to Pamper?
And… Permission to find Passion and Purpose?
As an Integrated Therapist, I find myself asking these important questions.
I find when we are open to such questions, it in effect opens the door to really know ourselves.
Gifting us the ability to have that conversation with our mind body and soul to allow us to step into our room of inner wisdom, our room of requirement, our intuition, and our very own inner knowing.
By finding and getting to know our room, allows us to clear out our clutter (what makes us tense, stressed, and dis-eased) and then opens up easier access to this safe all knowing space.
It gives us the ability to know what is right for us, to free up our flow inside and out, making life so much easier.
In a way, being naked with ourselves… “Permission to ex-Pose” ourselves to ourselves! Giving ourselves permission to live in a space of heartfelt truth and honesty. I love the way Brené Brown speaks on the power of vulnerability.
So… how can we release and clear up our internal “clutter”, our triggers that can lead to dis-ease?…
Well, in addition to asking self discovery questions, I personally use many other approaches to assist clients and families with releasing and calming down discomfort.
Because it is Halloween (I find any excuse to empower people!) I thought I would share a couple of ways I use on a daily basis allowing “Permission to Pause”.
In Michelle Dubois of the French resistance in “Allo Allo” words… “Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once” the secret, shhh… is to release unwanted dis-ease and calm the Central Nervous System like so…
Tips…
To start with, I’ll continue with the theme of the P words… “Peace & Calming”TM, “Purification” TM, “Peppermint”, “Pine”, “Pan Away” TM, “Present Time” TM, “Pachouli”.
I’d like to take a moment here, to acknowledge and thank Young Living TM Essential Oils for producing such exquisite helpful therapy assistants in a bottle!! They suit me down to a “T” (whatever that means!) NO! I won’t procrastinate and start researching the origins of this saying lol!
What matters is that I warm to their clear high frequency and I feel their special calming effects on many levels. By diffusing, inhaling or applying correctly to skin, allows for restoration of peace internally and externally.
I never go anywhere without my oils thank goodness… I remember climbing up the steps of a little tour bus in the heart warming country of Fiji.
I was fully immersed in the good old holiday mode, and as I climbed the steps, I was hit by a change in atmosphere on the bus, to a thickness, as if it could be cut with a knife!
My ears found the apparent cause when I reached the top of the steps… the screams from a child on the back seat!
Funnily enough, the only seats available were right in front of them! I sat in silence with the whole bus for a little while hoping it would subside… … … it did not, the poor little thing continued in distress.
I questioned myself if it was appropriate to intervene between a mother and child on holiday, the Therapist’s constant dilemma!
My intuition fortunately took control and guided my hand to my 2ml little helper bottle, containing the good old “Peace and Calming TM” oil.
With the warmth of my little helper in hand and my mustered confidence, I turned in my seat, and in a quiet “sorry to interrupt” voice, asked if they would like to use some?
The Mum appeared at her wits end, and pretty much said over the screaming that she would try anything!
After applying a tiny amount to her son’s forehead over his little Emotional Release Points that I had suggested, and then I waited…
Within a minute, the screams slowly dissipated, and the thick atmosphere of the bus, changed to one befitting a tropical island adventure.
I watched and felt as us holiday maker’s shoulders relaxed and began freely chatting with each other.
I proceeded to thank my intuition, my mustered up confidence, my knowledge of acupressure points and of course… my oily helper, and went onto continuing with an amazing adventure.
Contact me to explore which little helpers you get drawn to, to help calm and soothe you and your inner child!
“Name it to Tame it”
This is another technique that I use most days with myself and everyone who wish for my help! I love Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson’s book, “The whole-brain child”. My simple understanding of this is the importance of naming the emotion that is causing distress. Once this emotion is identified and acknowledged, you can then understand what is going on, to enable it to be tamed and reduce its discomfort.
This is an example of how I use this technique…
Notice in the body where the discomfort is creating a disturbance, may be with closing of eyes, looking down, or placing a hand over the area etc.
Get a sense of what the emotion is & how it feels.
Pay it some attention, say it out loud if that helps or write it down, whatever feels right to whoever is experiencing the emotion and how they express themselves, written or verbal words, actions, drawing etc.
Acknowledge the emotion, and if needed, share it with another if that helps/feels what is needed, tap into and use the good old intuition, the little sensations in our bodies, the inner wisdom.
9 times out of 10, by understanding the emotion, calms it down.
When feelings do not calm down easily or are difficult to express or identify, I would always suggest seeking out a qualified Integrated Therapist to guide and assist you and your family with our many years of experience and practise 😊 Gotta love the saying, a problem shared is a problem halved.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this and found something of use during these challenging times.
As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to read this and spend time seeking ways to help yourself.
I truly wish you ease and comfort in your journey.
We are all in this together, and I love being a gentle little helper myself effectively online or in person (when able) to you who are ready to gain your own “Permission to Pause”, whatever that maybe for you x.
