Is Stubbornness something we can learn from?…
I stand, my Brow furrowed, tension rises in my head
My heart is pounding as well as my head now
I take a deep breath & relax my eyes
I take an imaginary step back
I give myself the opportunity to see what is truly happening
The burning line going down the middle of my chest
The grumpy expression on my face
My raised shoulders, tension at the top & in my neck…
…I am cranky!
What brought on mr cranky pants I ask myself?
…Simple came the answer…
Was it mine, someone else’s… or a bit of both?
How can stubbornness present?…
…you don’t care about me if you make me
…I hate you
…You’re so mean
…Why would I want to do what you do? Or listen to you?
…I WANT to do something else
…MY WAY is the best way, yours just won’t work
…We ALWAYS do what you want, when do I get to do what I want?
…Or is there no response, feeling ignored?
Do these emotions or thoughts then rise to the surface?…
…Anger / frustration
…Sadness / alone
…Not worthy / worthless
…Ignored / nothing
…Not feeling loved / hurt
…They won’t be my friend if I do what I need and want to do
The releasing begins…
The gift of Empathy?
Seeing through the eyes of Empathy…
Instead of battering heads with others, and sending your own Mr Cranky Pants out on a rampage to escalate the situation, have a go at looking through the eyes of the perceived stubborn one.
Are they really saying?…
…I don’t have enough time as it is to spend more with you
…I need to prove myself THIS way
…It feels bad when I do what YOU want me to
…I get attention when you react to me
…I’m not comfortable
…I’m not good enough
…I don’t know how to express myself
Oh our poor heads!
It’s fabulous to explore and understand these situations especially when they repeat, or get us stuck in our heads, and cause discomfort. Sometimes it is difficult to shift some of the heavier stuff we find ourselves stuck in. Seeking some help to free ourselves and move forward easily is a powerful plan.
Taking responsibility for our own reactions can provide a most welcome freeing sense of relief. Reaching out for assistance from a trained Therapist, a trusty Kinesiologist 😉 can help smooth the process on any level. It can be empowering, supportive and awesome to know that we do not have to feel isolated by doing it alone.
In the meantime, here’s the nitty gritty stuff I find helpful from my experience when in those uncomfortable Stubborn situations…
*Keep it SIMPLE*
- S = Senses & Sensations – Acknowledge those real basic Smells, Sights, Sounds, Touch/Feelings, and Tastes. Clearing our head by being present in our body.
- I = Inbreath – calm and slow everything down with a long, long deep breath OUT.
- M = Move – Feel the rhythm of every muscle as you walk or just rock yourself to move and shift away any tension stuck in your body, and change your mindset.
- P = Be Present – notice the surroundings, the ground, the beauty of nature, the whole picture. Again, clearing our head and connecting with what is real in the now.
- L = Learn to Let go. Find peace in forgiving the present, past, others and ourselves. I love using the Hawaiian art of forgiveness to help with this – Ho’oponopono.
- E = Eliminate – Eliminate the stuck-ness, and flush it out of our system. By acknowledging our discomfort and bringing it to our awareness a lot of the time can allow for this process. Other times, we just need someone to help us.
The Healing Journey Continues…
I take another deep breath, to calm my nervous system down.
To release my tension I change my current view.
I move back into my heart space that holds my spirit, my soul.
I stink deeper & feel the power underneath it supporting me.
My posture changes, relaxes, the energy flows into all my body, I feel the tension from my thoughts dissipating.
I breath fully.
I see now by providing support helps reduce all of the stubbornness.
I create peace in my inner home.
Journaling is often a helpful addition on the day of the uncomfortable stubborn exposure. See this video on Journaling for some tips on how to get started.
The trick is to empty all thoughts out of our heads, and release them onto paper with a pen or pencil, letting it flow.
Here is an example of questions that have helped others to de-stress and understand discomfort…
What button is being Pushed in me? – Value/Worth, Love/Hate, Trust/Fear, Anger/Frustration/Acceptance/Perfectionism, Uncaring, etc.
What space was I coming from to the situation?
Was I bringing in a negative emotion from another situation?
Was I bringing in a memory from my past?
It is OK not to have any answers or insights too. The main thing is to acknowledge that something in us is asking for our attention and spend that precious time with our precious selves. It is also important to get the necessary help from where we need to in a timely manner. I love prevention.
As always, I am available for online and face to face sessions to help you find your own comfort in your inner home.
Thank you for taking time to read this. I wish you success in freeing yourself from any stubborn situations, to assist you on your self healing journey x